4:41 pm - Friday, Aug. 16, 2002
Cats and birds and maury, oh my!
Dear Random Person,
Thats odd, sitting on the recently updated page, listening to the radio and at the exact same time Cat Scratch Fever comes on, I see this name. So the radio is to thank for finding you. Ussually I leave it up to the talking bird in the corner but I've been ignoring him of late because he keeps rambling about Steve Williams beating up Robin Tunney... or something. Its not like I'm actually paying attention to him.
But thats neither here nor there.
You know who I'd like to thank? Absolutely noone, since absolutely noone bothered to tell me who those lyrics from the other day sounded like. But it's okay because I'm intriguingly swell. Or swellingly intriguing but I've not felt anything stirring, so maybe not. Not to say that it couldn't happen suddenly. But for now, I'm just swell and filling people with intrigue, when I thought my mystique was fading faster than a porn star with nothing to lose on a Saturday afternoon after a bottle of tequila and a bag of tweek, having seen the bills in the mail.
Speaking of porn... oh, false alarm. So, since I'm neither aroused nor entertained currently, you ought to take the makeme survey and the wookalary survey, since it is all about my entertainment and amusement, right? I mean, if its not all about me and my being entertained... people's priorities are all screwy.
Then again, thats nothing new. People's priorities are always all kinds of screwy. I know some people who are going to go on Maury, just so they can get on TV. A white chick, let's call her Jackie Cornelius and her samoan boyfriend, lets say his name is Ofisa Ramangalahy, are working a plan with their black male friend, who we'll call Arthur James, although, I wouldn't suggest you call him Arthur to his face, since he doesn't like... Um, not that those are real names. Heh. Yep, cooompleeetely made-up.
But, anyway, the plan would have them going on there, with Ofi claiming that Kel was sleeping with Arthur and her baby is Arthurs and not Ofi's, so he wants a paternity test. I suppose the lie could be pulled off, with enough delusional claims, since the kid sort of has this non-descript darkness about it that could either be samoan or black, since it picked up so much of the white features, other than the actual color. It could all work and Ofi could pretend to be in shock after finding out the kid is actually his but would this entertain me?
Well, actually, it could, on some levels, if it suddenly put doubts in their own minds and Ofi got into the character a little too much and started noticing how the kid really does look like it could be Arthurs. Things blowing up in people's faces causing tons of mental breakdowns and melodramatic stories isn't necessarily a good thing and I'm not saying that it would be totally entertaining... except that it would be. But maybe I'm evil. Then again, I'm not sure how but I did just restore, single handedly, someone's faith in all things good. I'm a paradox, I guess.
I can disillusion and make people delusional. I didn't even have to hypnotize anyone... this time.
Best Wishes,
Doctor Andom
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