5:52 pm - Tuesday, Feb. 21, 2006
My heart is a bike bomb.
Dear Random Person
I feel like dead water. Maybe like I'm dead in the water. Well, I don't really know what that feels like... yet.
I've only gotten, like, 8 hours of sleep in the last 6 days, due to having an anxiety attack on Wednesday night/Thursday morning and it just progressing beyond the stupidness that started it because I started freaking out and me freaking out because I was freaking out because my heart rate was up to 96 beats per minute, then some crazy shit happened on Thursday night that caused my heart rate to go up to 130 and its been at 110 since then... but now its down to 85 bpm, which is still, like, 10 too high for a resting heart rate but I feel perfectly fine.
Which I've been pretending to feel since Tuesday, just so everyone would shut up and leave me alone. Don't people know that if you're going to be actively harrassing someone about their stress levels, its going to cause them more stress? So I've been actively avoiding people and only communicating via email, which is strangely pretty easy. And convenient, since you can't really hide shivering, sniffling, jitters and twitchiness when people can hear or see you. It felt like I was hiding a meth habit this week.
In other news, my bike is a pipe bomb.
Best Wishes,
Doctor Andom
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